How well do you uphold your personal boundaries? Many people struggle with setting and maintaining their boundaries for a variety of reasons. Unfortunately, a lot of these reasons have their roots in trauma. They may not like saying no to others in fear of the reaction they may get. Others may derive their sense of self-worth from pleasing others. However, setting and maintaining your boundaries is essential for your mental health.
Without boundaries, you’ll end up being at the mercy of other people’s whims. They might do something that you are not comfortable with, or pressure you into doing something you don’t want to do. This can greatly and negatively affect your mental health, and may even develop into depression or anxiety.
Maintaining your boundaries is easier said than done, but it’s essential for the sake of your mental health. Here are a few tips on how to effectively maintain your boundaries.
Understand the scope of personal boundaries
When someone thinks of personal boundaries, they might only think of a few certain scenarios. However, personal boundaries refer to the limits you set for people around every aspect of your life. This includes physical proximity, emotional energy, time, morals and ethics, material possessions, money, or personal information.
It’s also important to set these boundaries with all of the people in your life. These include family, friends, romantic partners, classmates, coworkers, and even strangers. This will allow you to take better control of your life and feel safe with the people around you.
Learn more about yourself
Unfortunately, you may not know what your boundaries are if you’ve been ignoring them in favor of pleasing others. The first step to setting your boundaries is to learn what they are in the first place. When doing this, avoid asking your friends and family for help. It’s best to go through this discovery without influence from those who know you. Instead, seek help from a trained therapist or psychologist. A professional without personal ties to you will be able to look at your situation objectively and help you understand yourself better.
Communicate openly about your boundaries
Once you have a better understanding of yourself and what your limits are, it’s time to start implementing them into your life. If people in your life are crossing your boundaries, it’s up to you to let them know. Only then will they be able to learn from their past actions and ensure that they don’t make you uncomfortable again.
For many people, this step may be challenging as they don’t want to come across as rude or demanding. However, there are ways to communicate about your personal boundaries in a kind, respectful, yet direct way. For example, if someone is venting to you at a time where you are not emotionally equipped to deal with it, you could redirect them to resources or tools to help them through their situation. This shows that you still care for their wellbeing, all while taking care of your personal limits.
Surround yourself with people who respect your boundaries
If someone in your life does not respect your boundaries, even after multiple attempts to communicate, it’s likely that they don’t respect you. If you find yourself having to constantly establish your limits only to have them blatantly ignored, you are entirely justified to remove them from your life.
This is easier said than done, and many people with boundary issues often feel too guilty to do this. But it will be better than if you keep giving second chances to someone who doesn’t listen to you.
Setting and maintaining your personal boundaries will certainly be an uphill battle, especially if you’re struggled with it before. However, maintaining these boundaries will help you experience a safer and more fulfilling life that will make all of these efforts worth it.